In honor of Mike’s 30th birthday (and because he told me to), I’m going to list the great things about him and the nice things he does for me on a daily basis. He thinks I only blog about him when I have something bad to say, so I’m going to prove him wrong by listing 30 great things for his 30th birthday. It’s a daunting task, but my bluff has been called.

1. He doesn’t hog the bed. In fact, he’s usually clutching the side like he’s about to fall off a cliff, which means I get 3/4 of the king-size bed all to myself – but it’s a trade off because he does snore.
2. He saves lives for a living.
3. He encourages the purchase of high end leather goods on a quarterly basis. Coach also appreciates this outstanding trait.
4. He doesn’t flinch when I reach over and eat off his plate. Though now he reaches over and eats off mine – which I’m totally not cool with.
5. He cleans the toilets. No need for a #toiletwand with him around!
6. He takes the dog out after dark so I don’t get mugged in the parking lot.
7. He scrapes the snow and ice off my windows in the winter.
8. He knows how to give a good hair cut.
9. He brings me home fountain pop upon request.
10. He’s calm (read: occasionally catatonic).
11. He lets all five of my cousins hang all over them even though they are perpetually covered in jam.
12. He loves Disney World and always wants to book a vacation.
13. He has no problem picking up poop when someone has an accident in the house.
14. He rarely tells me no.
15. He appreciates the art of hand-written thank-you notes.
16. He loves mold-a-ramas.
17. He has the astounding ability to tune out my nagging. Good for him. Bad for me.
18. He always carries up the groceries.
19. He never gets mad – and if he does get mad I just don’t notice which probably really pisses him off.
20. He’s my own personal IT department.
21. He introduced me to Battlestar Galactica and I secretly love it.
22. He irons his own clothes.
23. He loves weiner…dogs.
24. He works 24-hour shifts so I get every 3rd day to myself.
25. He lets me punch him to show how much I love him.
26. He’s sentimental – as is evident by the stack of “Congratulations on your 1st Communion” cards I discovered when we moved in together.
27. He plans on moving me across the country and isn’t stressed one iota about the logistics.
28. He doesn’t mind that I blog about vibrators, marital problems, or ball chafing.
29. He secretly likes when I sing and dance for him. Especially my elevator dance. I can tell.
30. He hasn’t divorced me. Yet.

Happy Birthday, Mike! You’ve got a year to really step up your game so I can add #31 next year.