I wasn’t looking forward to this morning.

I had an appointment with a lawyer at the county law library to review the completed divorce decree. On the way, the car directly in front of me was weaving back and forth and then misjudged a turn, jumping the curb and smashing into a tree amongst a corner of unruly bushes. Once I got to the courthouse the only available parking space was right next to a sign that said “Travis County Inmate Unloading Area Only” which is always comforting.

Anyway, it was an uncontested divorce, so up until today I’ve waded through the legal jargon and filed out all the paperwork myself, but I wanted someone to review the final forms before I submitted them to the courts. Someone to say yes, you’ve done everything correctly, the judgment looks fair, and the judge will grant your divorce; no, you didn’t screw anything up besides your marriage, your career, and possibly your chance to ever have children.

You know, just to put my mind at ease.

The lawyer was wonderful. She was kind and helpful and made some small changes to ensure the proceedings ran smoothly. She was also a total bully who ushered me off to the courtroom to read my testimony in front of the judge and two dozen strangers as soon as she signed off on the last page.

My name is Corrin Foster.

I filed this suit for divorce from my spouse.

At the time I filed this divorce, I had lived in Texas for at least the last six months and in Travis County for at least ninety days.

Our marriage has become unworkable. There is no reasonable chance that we will get back together.

My spouse and I do not have any minor children, by birth or adoption.

I am not currently pregnant and I did not have children with anyone else during our marriage.

I ask that our property and debts be divided as set forth in the Decree of Divorce.

I believe this division is fair to both me and my spouse.

I respectfully ask the Court to grant my divorce.

I was completely unprepared to finalize the last eight years of my life in under eight minutes, but in some ways it was a relief that I didn’t realize what was happening until I was standing in the courtroom taking an oath. As much as I wanted things to be done and over, I would have held on to that paperwork until the next court date just happy knowing that I could have the final say whenever I wanted, and what good would that have done? Would I really have been any better prepared? I probably would have still gotten chocked up saying out loud that “our marriage has become unworkable.”

But at least I was wearing new shoes for my first day as a single girl.

•