I think it’s well established that I am kind of a crazy dog lady (please search #ollieisadog on Twitter and/or Instagram if you need verification, but I’m telling ya, it’s true). Truthfully, I think I like dogs more than kids.

Which is why I probably pay more for doggie hotel/daycare when I’m out of town than most people pay for childcare. Please don’t ask just how much I pay for doggie daycare; I haven’t come to terms with saying the amount out loud.*

BUT THERE’S A WEBCAM! Multiple webcams! And I make no qualms about checking those webcams at random intervals just to see what Ollie is up to.

Home or away, this is how Ollie spends most of his time.

Treats and snoozin’. Snoozin’ and treats.

But during doggie daycare, he gets to romp (read: stand on the perimeter and judge) with dogs five times his size three times a day. Here he is surveying the play area and being eyed by a wild gang of Westies.

Go on and try something, Westies. I’m a Badger Dog.

And then sometimes, Ollie acts out. That poor woman? She’s cleaning up Ollie’s poop while he nonchalantly avoids the area.

Do-do-do-do-do.

Other times, Ollie’s just a jerk. Yup, that’s my dog in the top center. Lifting his leg and peeing in the middle of the floor while all the other dogs are distracted by the action in the hallway.**

Weeeeeeeeee. Literally.

But just like at home, Ollie makes up for being a little jerk by smothering people with kisses. The poor guy on doggie daycare duty didn’t stand a chance.

Are you a crazy dog person? Do you pay a ridiculous amount of money for something because you think your dog enjoys it more? I find this affects dachshund owners more than any other breed.

Do you make excuses for your pet because they’re just so.damn.cute? Hm. Maybe I would make a good parent.

*A little back story that hopefully justifies the cost of the doggie hotel: Last year I went out of town for a few days and Ollie got so worked up that he made himself sick. 2 days off work and $300 worth of vet bills sick. Not to mention everything was covered in poop. Including me. Now he gets a nice private room, playtime three times a day, and the boarding facility is in the same building as his vet. Totally worth the price of a stay at the Four Seasons to avoid that fiasco.

**More back story to justify my misbehaving dog: The boarding facility is in downtown Austin with an indoor “park” for the dogs to do their business. Ollie wants nothing to do with AstroTurf so they have to harness him up and take him outside. Clearly someone hadn’t taken him outside before playtime because he would never have gone inside unless it was an emergency. Read: IT’S NOT HIS FAULT!