Dating Deal Breakers
Since I’m going to eventually have to date again (I’m actually quite looking forward to it if anyone wants to pencil something in – my schedule is open), I’ve been compiling a mental list of things that I’ll be accessing in potential love interests. My mom says I’ll be alone forever if my list gets any longer, to which I say – I have books, a dog, and a blog. I will never be alone.
That doesn’t scream spinster AT ALL.
So, here are my wants, qualifiers, deal breakers, the things I’ve got my eye on:
- How you treat a stranger is important. Especially pregnant woman, waiters/waitresses, children, and old fogies. Actually, how you treat everyone is important.
- If you drive like an asshole, you are an asshole. A giant asshole if you drive a Texas Edition of any vehicle.
- If you’re car is gross, you are gross. You shouldn’t be able to live for a month off of what is in your back seat.
- I’m a homebody. If you’re a social butterfly, it’ll never work out.
- No video games. No exceptions. If I wanted a teenage son, I would have given birth in high school.
- An equal level of education is highly preferred. Being the smart one in a relationship is just as bad as being the stupid one.
- I don’t give smokers the time of day.
- If you think you’re family is weird, God only knows what I’ll say about them on Twitter.
- If you “don’t get” blogging or Twitter, you “don’t get” me.
- Poor grammar and smiley faces in emails. Delete delete delete.
- Not being able to accept responsibility for anything. The moment you say “but it wasn’t my fault,” it probably was.
- Love me, love my dog.
- There’s a height requirement. The taller the better.
- If your legs or arms are smoother than mine, we have a problem. If you shave your armpits, you’re totally creepy.
- You are, presumably, in your 30′s. Why do you have a roommate?
- Inappropriate use of flip flops. Also known as HOLY CHRIST YOUR FEET.
There are so many more, but let’s start with these. What are your deal breakers? Have you ever let one slide?
Amy
Holy shit. LIKE LIKE LIKE!!
“No video games. No exceptions. If I wanted a teenage son, I would have given birth in high school.”
Corrin
Twitter: CorrinRenee
Thank you. Lesson learned in the starter marriage.
Julie
Twitter: jvdesigns
OMG, we have a very similar list. And? I didn’t know there were ‘Texas Editions” of any cars. I’m a little creeped out by that.
Corrin
Twitter: CorrinRenee
Basically they slap a Texas Edition sticker on the back bumper and jack the truck up a foot or two and charge $10k more. They aren’t fooling me with their little penis.
crazyassmomma
Twitter: crazyassmomma
holy shit i love you.
hilarious. awesome. and so scarily accurate.
Corrin
Twitter: CorrinRenee
I need to add another! Please don’t play in a band. You’re not getting a record deal. Ever.
Donna
1. I refuse to be a sports widow of any sort. Playing golf EVERY weekend? Nope. Watching football all day every Saturday and Sunday? No way. Planning social events around any sort of sports season is a deal breaker for me.
2.I would prefer an orphan this go around.
Donna´s last awesome blog post…Leap Day Brain Nuggets
Corrin
Twitter: CorrinRenee
I literally choked on my Starbucks when I read #2. Cheers to that!
Meagan
Twitter: SarafinaKitchen
“A giant asshole if you drive a Texas Edition of any vehicle.” – True story. That usually means the truck is jacked up, redneck style, too. Double-nono.
Meagan´s last awesome blog post…Sarafina’s Rules of Pinterest Etiquette (For Recipes)
Corrin
Twitter: CorrinRenee
What is up with Texas Editions? There’s not Chicago Editions of any cars!
Tara
Twitter: taraburkholder
Or, if you don’t realize that your family is BATSHIT cray and refers to themselves as “The Family” like they’re the MOTHERF***ING mafia (with absolutely no irony), it’s pretty much guaranteed I’ll talk about them on Twitter. They either need to stay off Twitter or grow thicker skin.
Tara´s last awesome blog post…Siclovia 2012
Corrin
Twitter: CorrinRenee
Yes! That’s my argument with my ex’s family. If you don’t like what I’m saying, why are you reading my Tweets/blog? And, if you think what I’m saying is always about you, maybe you have a bit of a guilty conscious.
Kari
Twitter: alas3lads
I love your list and think it is spot-on! My daughter is 15 and I tell her all the time, “marry someone tall so you can wear heels.” And, I would be okay if I never had to see a guy’s feet…ewww!
Kari´s last awesome blog post…My Favorite Movie Dance Scenes
Corrin
Twitter: CorrinRenee
Ha. I’m not super tall, but I’m 6 foot in heels, so height is a must!
Leigh Ann
Twitter: Torres
I used to have the same rule about education, but turns out I married a no college guy. He’s plenty smart (especially since i lost all my brain cells 4 yrs ago) and has a good career. I do wish we had that common denominator though.
I also always said no receding hairlines. My Spaniard will NEVER lose his hair.
Leigh Ann´s last awesome blog post…I was a bad mentor
Corrin
Twitter: CorrinRenee
I went with a non-graduate (edited because college-drop out is mean and I felt guilty) the first time and that didn’t work out so well. I think I feel more strongly about education than religion.
Cathy Beanvides
Everyone always reminds me of the dangers of being too picky and having too long of a list but you know what? NOT being picky is how you end up with a loser/asshole. So I love your list. It’s like how I refuse to compromise on height ever again. You need to be 5’10″ or over – sorry that’s just the way it is.
Cathy Beanvides´s last awesome blog post…Citysearch wants to hook you up during SXSW
Corrin
Twitter: CorrinRenee
I think you’re height requirement may be a little more realistic than mine. I’m thinking 6’2″+. Guys in Austin are so SHORT!
Krystle
Twitter: homejobsbymom
Love the list! Too funny! Unfortunately, my husband loves video games. Ugh. Still love him but now I have three sons lol.
Krystle´s last awesome blog post…5 Ways to Relieve Stress: Are Your Kids Making You Go Crazy?
Corrin
Twitter: CorrinRenee
I used to think that a certain amount of video game playing was okay, but I just can’t take the chance of a significant other sliding into addiction again.
Do something with me instead of playing games by yourself!
Krystle
Twitter: homejobsbymom
You could always play a game with them. I do play some video games with my husband. Lego Harry Potter is pretty fun lol. And he has talked me into a mmorpg before that I liked. He used be really addicted to video games but now he only plays if I am busy doing something else (he got tired of me complaining).
Krystle´s last awesome blog post…10 Early Pregnancy Signs: Some of the Symptoms I Experienced
Corrin
Twitter: CorrinRenee
But the problem is that the video game turns into the default thing to do when there’s “nothing else to do” when I could make a list of things that need to be done or suggest a viable hobby. No. This is sounding worse and worse.
Krystle
Twitter: homejobsbymom
I understand your point. I agree there are always more useful things that could be done instead of playing a video game. lol but the hobbies can get annoying too. Us women just want our men to pay attention to us and be with us…not too needy, right? I guess the best thing is to find something you both enjoy that you can do together no matter what the activity is. All that matter is that you both are happy and enjoying time together
Krystle´s last awesome blog post…10 Early Pregnancy Signs: Some of the Symptoms I Experienced
Corrin
Twitter: CorrinRenee
You make it sound so easy. This is why I’m divorced. Haha.
Krystle
Twitter: homejobsbymom
You will find that new special someone! He’s out there! I’m sure even that guy will drive you nuts every now and again but it won’t matter (at least for a while) once you’re in that love fog.
Krystle´s last awesome blog post…10 Early Pregnancy Signs: Some of the Symptoms I Experienced