“Bully” Film: More Questions Than Answers
Thanks to The Bully Project for sponsoring my writing. Visit their website to join the movement and learn more.
I don’t remember ever being bullied in school. I don’t even remember being made fun of. Not in elementary school when I was the new girl in my 4th grade class. Not when I made the switch to public middle school. Not when I made the transition to high school. There could be a few reasons why my school memories are all sunshine and puppy dogs:
- Nobody ever made fun of me. This is probably the least likely of all the possibilities.
- I was too naive to notice or care if someone was making fun of me. This is probably the most realistic of all the possibilities.
- Bullying didn’t exist then as it does now, neither in occurrences nor severity.
- Bullying didn’t have the press then as it does now.
Number 3 and 4 cause me the most turmoil. Is bullying really getting worse or has the anti-bullying movement reached such momentum that we just think it has? Is the term bullying being used to refer to situations that are really just life? Do the numbers even matter so long as it’s happening at all?
I don’t know the answer to any of those questions, but regardless; this shouldn’t be happening:
I have more questions than answered and I’m interested in seeing the movie and learning more. I don’t think it’s as simple as the pink t-shirts make it seem.
A few of the articles I read while writing this post:
Why a bullied student, a parent adn a school official opened their lives to filmmaker
Is a new-found focus on the bullying ‘epidemic” misidentifying the problem?
“Bully” gets PG-13 rating after profanity edits
Bully film could become an educational tool in Vancouver schools
Bullying: Is Your Kid Mean?
“Bully” producer responds to allegations that the doc ignored key information
I was selected for this sponsorship by the Clever Girls Collective. Find showings in your area for The Bully Project and buy tickets here.
crazyassmomma
Twitter: crazyassmomma
let me preface all of this by saying — i didnt watch the clip, i didnt read any of the articles.
so, a friend and i were just having a similar conversation the other day. our convo was prompted by the fact that an 11 yo boy in a neighboring town committed suicide because of bullying & a girl.
i WAS bullied in high school. badly. to the point where i was afraid to move from class to class. my parents knew it and their advice was to punch her in the nose. (incidently, my story has a happy ending seeing as how the bully is now one of my BFFs and is the one i was having this convo with)
ive been picked on my whole life. from the time i was in kindergarten. it was never BAD BAD, i had friends, high school was the worst. i dont know if its just my predisposition, but while it bugged me, it never truly affected me. i never had suicidal thoughts, or wanted to do anything ridiculous like take a gun to school and shoot the moron.
the thing that my friend and i kept coming back around to is that kids seem less well equipped to deal with jackasses like bullies. whatever happened to standing up to them? why does everything have to be PC and rainbows and sunshine?
theres a boy harassing my daughter…. i told her to tell him to pound sand & a few other colorful expressions. her biggest fear is that she will get in trouble, and i said, if you stand up for yourself, you will NEVER be in trouble with me, and MY opinion is the one that counts. i asked if she wanted me to get involved and she said no. but, at some point, if he continues and if it gets worse, i will step in.
i think the media and FACEBOOK make it all worse. I think that its a huge problem that kids are taking it so far (the victims especially, but everything). Im not a psychologist or an expert, so I dont know the ultimate answer, but I really think that maybe parents need to spend more time preparing kids for the eventuality that people are assholes, and when you encounter an asshole, dont give them permission to ruin your damn day.
Corrin
Twitter: CorrinRenee
I love that you told her that she will never be in trouble with YOU for standing up for herself. Ultimately, you’re the one that she has to answer to and she needs to know that you’re on her side.
I had no idea you were bullied, and honestly, it surprises me because I was a little afraid of you. Silly since I’ve known you since grade school.
My cousin was pulled out of kindergarten because kids were throwing rocks at him on the playground. Still breaks my heart. Who does that to a kindergartner who can name all the presidents in order? I see him on Facebook now as a Junior in high school and everything is so explosive.
crazyassmomma
Twitter: crazyassmomma
oh that is insane. throwing rocks at a kid??? in kindergarten! omg. poor kid.
afraid of me? youre hilarious. and silly. im snarky, and bitchy, but not mean.
Terry
Twitter: txterryo
I was bullied so hardcore in school. From elementary school to High School. Some of it was racially motivated (yay small town Texas!), the rest of it was just people being awful.
As bad as it was in my personal experience, I can’t imagine that it’s any more or less hardcore these days. I’m grateful it’s in the spotlight these days, because it wasn’t considered a real issue back when I was in school. It was “life,” something “to make you stronger.” And while it succeeded in that, I think it was a series of unnecessary lessons.
I plan on seeing the movie.
Terry´s last awesome blog post…Three Years
Corrin
Twitter: CorrinRenee
That’s terrible. I think there’s a real difference between life and bullying. Some kid knocking your books out of your hands once is life. Some kid making you terrified to walk down the hall is bullying.
Whitney
I was bullied BAD from 6th grade up. It became so bad & I was constantly being kicked out of school for defending myself. It came to the point that I was missing so much school & the school saw me as too much of a “problem” that *I* needed to change schools. I was being badly bullied & harassed by upper classmen and while most put up with it, I didn’t. I finally moved in 9th grade & didn’t have any further problems. I have since talked to some of those girls & none of them can tell me why, they all just say “because XXXXX did it.” I have had people tell me that I was a “bxxxx” in high school, but not a “bully.” I didn’t realize it at the time, but I think i thought I could not show a ounce of vulnerability.
That all said, I wanted to add my son is in Preschool & there has been a few instances of terrible behavior, if it’s not bullying. One little boy got in trouble for telling another that he didn’t have to be nice to him because his mom said he was poor!!! Whether or not the mother said that (I doubt it) it is awful that kids say such terrible things so young. I have always tried to instill into my sons to befriend everyone & always be nice & polite. I believe it’s working because one of Jace’s best buddies has CP & he knows/sees no difference in him. I won’t lie, I know a day will come when one of my kids will be bullied & I’m so afraid of how I will react, I guess it’s not cool to knock someone in the nose like I handled my bullies.
Corrin
Twitter: CorrinRenee
Not that I’m calling out your parents…but what is wrong with the school system and the parents when they can’t identify who the victim is? The parents that defend this behavior in their kids are the worst because they just perpetuate the problem and make it harder to solve.
Becca
Twitter: sbshortie
I was always bullied a little. I wore glasses, had a slight lisp, was on the brainy side, etc. But I think bullying is worse today simply because it is easier to do via texting, cell phones, facebook, etc. I can’t decide if I want to see this movie or not :/
Becca´s last awesome blog post…Winner – Kick Butt Characters Giveaway Hop
Corrin
Twitter: CorrinRenee
That’s a great point…there are so many more ways to bully people these days. Bullies are cowards, in my opinion, and they’re allowed to be even more cowardly behind a text or IM.