If you live in an apartment building, one of the rudest things you can do is hang windchimes from your balcony.

I highly dislike the sound of windchimes, and my dislike turns into hate on breezy summer evenings when every balcony in the building is a chorus of dings, dongs, clinks, and clanks. It also seems that the people who have windchimes don’t just have one, they have a whole collection of them hanging like one big beaded curtain around their porch.

Aren’t an abundance of windchimes violating city noise ordinances? What laws would I be violating if I snuck out and duck taped all the chimes together in the middle of the night?

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