I was at the water park last weekend and what I saw was whorendous.

Saggy boobs. Nip slips. Exposed butt cracks. Age inappropriate bikinis – both young and old. Inner tube that weren’t taking anybody down any water slides.

And the newest summertime calamity – the monokini.

Listen. I know I’m no bathing beauty, but I like to think that I know how to present what my mama gave me in the most flattering light possible.

And Oh Lord, did she give me a lot.

I know that I need a swim suit with coverage and support to make me feel comfortable. I know that I won’t accept a swim skirt or neutral color just because that’s what “comes in my size.” I know that I’m not 18 years old, but I’m also not 60 years old, and that there is middle ground.

I know that there are bathing suits that meet these requirements thanks to Land’s End.

And I know that more woman (specifically those in central Texas who visited Schlitterbahn on the weekend of May 22, 2010) should purchase them.

Next time (as if there will ever be a next time) I’ll make sure I have a full length mirror and Windex.

Land’s End provided the bathing suit pictured. Every other bathing suit you’ll ever see me in was purchased by me from Land’s End. Please see my site policy if you have any questions.

I don’t wear shorts. I think they’re uncomfortable and unflattering. I also don’t think any grown woman should be wearing anything with a 2″ inseam. I don’t care how great your legs are.

My version of shorts and a t-shirt is a skirt and a t-shirt – just as easy to throw on but much cuter.

Here’s a few skirts I’m loving this week (all but one of which is reasonably priced, but that’s okay because I’m just window shopping):

• Linen Paper Bag Skirt at Tulle $20
• Field Scourt Skirt at Anthropologie $78
• Luella Gingham Skirt at The Outnet $178.75
• Sweet & Scallop Skirt at Down East Basics $23.99
• Circle The Blog Skirt at Anthropologie $68
• Curator Skirt at Modcloth $69.99

I’m also in love with these Enzo Mirabelle wedges that would match every skirt, but we all know I wouldn’t make it a block in 4″ cork wedges with a 1″ platform.

If you’re a fan of the sky high wedges, you need to check out Kushyfoot. Their tights and hosiery are made especially to keep your feet comfortable before, during, and after teetering around in heels all day. I’ve been a fan for years and I always have a stash of Kushyfoot products (I always pick mine up at TJ Maxx).

Kushyfoot foot covers are booties with a layer of cushioning right at the ball of your foot. They are fantastic with classic heels and are cut extra low so they aren’t noticeable. Kushyfoot also makes toe covers to wear with sandals, mules, and slingbacks.

After wearing wedges and heels all day, your feet need a break. KushyFoot Flats to Go are super lightweight ballet flats that fit into even the smallest purse. Throw them on before lunch, your commute home, or whenever those super trendy heels give you a blister.

So, What’s in your (imaginary) shopping cart this week? Leave your link below so I can stop by and window shop!

If you don’t have a blog, just leave a comment! I love to see where everyone is shopping.

Pssst…

If you haven’t checked out my latest Blissfully Domestic posts, please do! I’m dishing on this season’s hottest swimsuit styles (including plus size), must have t-shirts for summer and colorful summer sneakers!

KushyFoot sent me a sampling of their products for review. The above mentioned products are my favorites. Please see my site policy if you have any questions.

I’ve never blogged about the weekend my husband and I eloped in Vegas, but I had big plans to share our story on our 3rd anniversary.

Which is today.

Whoopsie daisy.

Just pretend there’s a heart warming post commemorating our 3rd anniversary right about….here.

Next year I promise to tell you guys all about how we were late for our own wedding, bribed the cab driver with a chocolate shake to take us through In-N-Out Burger drive-thru to pick up our wedding dinner, why my husband wasn’t wearing a tie, and why I wasn’t wearing any underwear.

Pinkie swear.

Starting a draft now.

(Remind me next May, mmkay?)

Until then, enjoy reading about our wedding, 1st anniversary, and 2nd anniversary.

Happy Anniversary, Mike! Here’s to hoping you possess the strength of character to put up with me for another year.

People are dying to hear our wedding story. Don’t let them down.

Congratulations to our winner…Kristen!

Here are your random numbers:

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Timestamp: 2010-05-29 14:02:10 UTC

I’ve been listening to One eskimO’s self titled album for two weeks. Over and over again. Hoping that something, anything, would grab me.

One eskimO is a critically-acclaimed English band that has performed at Coachella, appeared on The Ellen DeGeneres show, been featured in a Toyota Prius commercial, sold over 35k albums, and have a #1 hit with Kandi.

And yet, I still find them to be meh. Maybe it’s the comparisons to Damien Rice, who I adore, or their insistence on spelling eskimO with a lowercase e and capital O, but I’m not feeling the music.

But, I want to give you the opportunity to decide for yourself if One eskimO delivers on all the hype.

Leave a comment telling me who your all time favorite band is.

One winner will receive the self titled album by One eskimO and a One eskimO t-shirt. Entries will be accepted through May 29th.

If you dig One eskimO, make sure to check them out on tour this summer.

Also…

eskimo eskimo ESKIMO!

This is a sponsored giveaway in conjunction with One2One Network on behalf of One eskimO. I received a copy of their latest album in order to craft my review. All opinions are 100% mine. Please see my site policy with any questions.

The fine print…Entries will be accepted until midnight, Friday, May 30th. One (1) winner will be chosen at random and announced on Saturday, May 29th. Winner will be contacted by email and/or Twitter and will have 48 hours to respond. Please use your real first name a valid email address when entering. I am not responsible for incorrect contact information. Prize will be shipped directly from sponsor. Open to US residents only. Good luck!

Today is Bloggers Without Makeup Day.

Which I’m officially renaming Bloggers With Zits, Wrinkles, Unruly Eyebrows, and Lots of Laundry to Put Away Day.

I regularly share pictures of how crazy my hair looks in the morning, the process of bleaching my arm hair, and what I look like when I’m sick and about to puke, so I’m proud to say that I think all of my readers (Hi, Mom!) know the real me.