Full disclosure – Eden Fantasys sent me free sex toys. And I took them to Disney World. Don’t act shocked. I’m not the first or last person to bring chocolate flavored lube to Disney World.*

The Chocolates Sweet Spot Kit arrived just in time to cram into my carryon and has not one, not two, but three vibrators – that’s a total of 5 AA batteries, so stock up. Preferably not at the airport gift shop. Or before the TSA screening. It raises eyebrows.

The traditional vibrator and the pocket rocket are nice extras, but the real star is the bullet. At a little over 2 inches long and quite chunky, it’s a nice size to palm in your hand – it’s big enough where you can’t miss what you’re aiming for but small enough to not get in the way of anything else that may be going on – and has four delightful speeds.

And while I don’t recommend actually ingesting the Chocolate Spread – it smells better than it tastes, take my word for it – it’s slippery and the name is just raunchy enough to make you smirk – which is really all you can ask of a lube.

As an added bonus – everything is SHINY. I love shiny. I can’t pass up anything shiny – let alone anything vibrating and shiny.

Now I know why they call it the happiest place on earth.

*Do you suppose that blogging about Disney World and sex toys in the same post is the reason why I wasn’t selected to be a Disney Mom? Just wondering.

We’re back from Disney World and we could not have had a better time – except for when I had a conniption at Typhoon Lagoon after Mike continued to push my buttons and we went our separate ways for the afternoon, but I digress.

The trip was to celebrate our 2nd anniversary and Mike’s 30th birthday and I swear Disney must beat cast members into submission for not wishing people wearing buttons a happy day. It was a chorus of well-wishes everywhere we went. While it was sweet, Mike finally had enough and took his buttons off. I proudly displayed them in hopes of more cupcakes.

A cold front came through the second day of our trip, and it was surprisingly nice being able to walk around the parks and not sweat our balls off. I know Mike was grateful not to chafe on this trip.

One of the highlights of our trip was the Behind the Seeds tour at The Lands in EPCOT where we got to release lady bugs, feed fish, and play with plants (watch the video at the end of the slideshow for the coolest plant ever).

The count down now begins for Disney Vacation 2010 next September! Yup – we took advantage of a free dining package offer by booking our next trip before we checked out!

I shared this video on Facebook and Twitter yesterday and I think it’s worth sharing again.

It’s a very inspirational speech given by a respectable WWII veteran who has fought for equality and is personally touched by the debate over gay marriage through his son. It’s rational and honest, and quite frankly, the complete opposite of what you would think an elderly veteran would stand for.

He’s an all around lovely and noble man.

I’ve seen two Cirque du Soliel shows – Zumanity and Love – and they were both amazing in different ways. Zumanity was risqué and absurd (I love anything with a little T&A…and P) and Love was beautifully choreographed with amazing costumes. I listen to the soundtrack regularly.

And it sounds like Banana Shpeel is a mix of the two – outlandish costumes, half-baked humor, and hard-core choreograph combined into a vaudevillesque spectacular with just enough sex-appeal to make things interesting! I’m already in love with the makeup from the few publicity photos I’ve seen – especially Annaleigh Ashford (she played Glinda in Wicked)!

In fact, the working title was actually Vaudeville until the big dual unveiling last week in Chicago and New York. Serge Roy, Cirque du Soliel’s director of creation says the show is hard-edge and slapstick – a far cry from the signature whimsical and dreamy style of Cirque shows!

In a nutshell – Shmelky is the tyrannical producer, Emmett is the naive actor, Katie is the beautiful young thing they are all lusting after, and the mysterious Banana Man – well, he’s sure to give Emmett a run for his money.

The Banana Shpeel tour is stopping in Chicago in November and New York in February and if it’s anything like the other two Cirque du Soliel shows I’ve seen, it’s sure to leave a lasting impression.

I think tickets to see Banana Shpeel would make an excellent Christmas gift hint hint.

Mike and I made a quick stop at the apple orchard this weekend – and I do mean quick – it was colder than a witches titty and there were mob scenes in line for tractor rides.

That’s when I was attacked by a rabid 4-year-old.

The little shit was on my list as soon as I spotted him because he took a bite out of the pumpkin I was eyeing. I know we were at the apple orchard – but there’s a distinct difference between apples and pumpkins that the little brat just couldn’t grasp.

As we’re waiting patiently in line, devil boy is trying to devour pumpkins while his parents completely ignore his behavior when he suddenly grabs one of those long pimply gourd, walks up to me, and whacks me in the hand with it for no damn good reason.

I was floored and I finally said “that did not feel very good” in my best Cruella Devilla voice and he scuttered off – hopefully to play in the street. I think his parents attempted to make him apologize because a few minutes later he ran up to me, lisped something, and then dove head first into a pile of pumpkins.

He’s going to be a fine addition to society in 10 years.