Everyone from Fox News to Entertainment Tonight is reporting that Angelina Jolie gave birth to baby girls, Isla Marche and Amelie Jane, in France last Sunday. That’s a long time to keep them a secret when their parents are Brad and Angie!

Hopefully Shiloh won’t have any issues with her new siblings being born so close to her own birthday, which was May 27th.

EDIT: People is reporting that it is all bologna! Angelina and Co. are chilling out in France until the twins make their debut.

Everyone has a song that they relate to, or that evokes some kind of emotion or connection. Mine is from the movie Beaches. Just imagine

Otto Titsling, inventor and kraut,
had nothing to get very worked up about.
His inventions were failures, his future seemed bleak.
He fled to the opera at least twice a week.

One night at the opera he saw an Aida
who’s t-ts were so big they would often impede her.
Bug-eyed he watched her fall into the pit,
done in by the weight of those terrible t-ts.

Oh, my god! There she blows!
Aerodynamically this bitch was a mess.
Otto eyeballed the diva lying comatose amongst the reeds,
and he suddenly felt the fire of inspiration
flood his soul. He knew what he had to do!
He ran back to his workshop
where he futzed and futzed and futzed.

For Otto Titsling had found his quest:
to lift and mold the female breast;
to point the small ones to the sky;
to keep the big ones high and dry!

Every night he’d sweat and snort
searching for the right support.
He tried some string and paper clips.
Hey! He even tried his own two lips!

Well, he stitched and he slaved
and he slaved and he stitched
until finally one night, in the wee hours of morning,
Otto arose from his workbench triumphant.
Yes! He had invented the worlds first
over-the-shoulder-boulder-holder. Hooray!

Exhausted but ecstatic he ran
down the street to the diva’s house
bearing the prototype in his hot little hand.
Now, the diva did not want to try the darn thing on.
But, after many initial misgivings,
she finally did.
And the sigh of relief that issued forth
from the diva’s mouth
was so loud that it was mistaken by some
to be the early onset of the Siroccan Winds
which would often roll through the Schwarzwald
with a vengeance!
Ahhhhh-i!

But little did Otto know,
at the moment of his greatest triumph,
lurking under the diva’s bed
was none other than the very worst
of the French patent thieves,
Philippe DeBrassiere.
And Phil was watching the scene
with a great deal of interest!

Later that night, while our Brun Hilda slept,
into the wardrobe Philippe softly crept.
He fumbled through knickers and corsets galore,
’til he found Otto’s titsling and he ran out the door.

Crying, “Oh, my god! What joy! What bliss!
I’m gonna make me a million from this!
Every woman in the world will wanna buy one.
I can have all the goods manufactured in Taiwan.”

It may not be historically accurate, but my quest for the perfect bra is well documented on this blog, and I can tell you that they aren’t manufactured in Taiwan. The best bras are Chantelle Bras, crafted (not manufactured) in Europe for woman with ample bosoms, such as Brun Hilda and myself.

Chantelle Bras are an extension of a brand originally known for their corsets and girdles, so they know how to lift and separate. They were also the first to make bras out of elasticized fabric, which allows for more movement and breathin room. All forty different parts of the bras are hand assembled by seamstresses, and all laces and embroideries are from Europe’s top fabric manufacturers and sold exclusively to Chantelle.

Chantelle isn’t just bras and girdles. It is fine lingerie that is hand crafted in Europe, made to last and impress. Making a purchase of a Chantelle Bra from Bits of Lace is an investment in comfort and style, and you’ll be amazed at how much better you feel and your clothing fits.

For the past few months, Mike and I have visited the local racetrack, Balmoral Park, regularly. By regularly I mean once a week. We’re starting to figure out stats and develop betting strategies, and we have come out ahead every time (not counting hot pretzels from the concession stand), but that isn’t hard when your limit is $20.

Along with our newfound love of horse racing, Mike has become a beer connoisseur, which makes the Brewhaha at Balmoral Park a perfect night out! For $25 a person, you get a race program, 10 samples and 4 pints of beer, and food. Mike’s going to have a rough day at work on Sunday, because I don’t like beer and he won’t be able to resist my 4 pints.

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Since I’ve gotten back from NYC, I’ve been on the elliptical every day running a mile. We walked so much around the city that I figured I would keep it up. Granted, that’s only three days worth of exercise, but I’ve already realized four things:

1. it’s not that hard to run a mile
2. if I only run one mile, that’s still more exercise than I’ve done in eons
3. I sleep better after a good workout
4. I think I’m going to keep it up

Mike and I have a friendly wager that is acting as motivation. First one to 100 miles gets $100. The only restriction is that you can’t run more than 2.5 miles in a single run.